Controlling boyfriend withholds salt from girlfriend’s cooking: ‘He needs to take several seats’

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 10, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Salt is one of those this that is pretty much non-negotiable. Why do you think they chose it to supplement us with iodine? Because everyone uses it all the time. Every day. The average American consumes about 7.5 pounds of salt per year. It makes our food taste more like food. How does the science of that work? I have no idea. All I know is that you need it, whether it's flakey or kosher or Himalayan pink. 

Some people do over-salt their food, true. I always get on to my mother for salting her food at restaurants before she's even tasted it. Like, c'mon, you don't even know how much they put in it yet! It could already be super salty! But I would never deny someone their right to salt. That's why this recent Reddit story was so egregious. I would hate to be in a relationship like this. 

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  • 01
    "The way he's behaving is childish"
    via Alyson McPhee
  • 02
    r/AmltheAsshole u/unemployedbuffoon123 • 8h AITA for being to my boyfriend after he withheld salt from me?
    via u/unemployedbuffoon123
  • 03
    My (f27) boyfriend (m30) are currently on vacation with his family. I have volunteered to cook most nights because I love to cook and am the best at it out of the entire group. This evening, I was making a dish for everyone and asked my boyfriend to please get me an array of seasonings for this specific dish (msg, soy sauce, pepper, and salt). he then said "if you're using msg do you really need salt?" to which I explained that msg is not salty (has 1/3 of sodium content to regular salt) and tha
    via u/unemployedbuffoon123
  • 04
    I was cooking outside on a griddle and the dish comes together quickly so I was not able to go back to grab any additional seasonings. I realized shortly afterward that he did not include salt (just 3 of the 4 things I requested) when asked, he said we didn't need it. I tried the food, it was bland so he then proceeded to put on additional soy sauce which it did not need. it needed salt. Either way I was defeated and needed to take it off so I served it as is, without salt.
    via u/unemployedbuffoon123
  • 05
    Everyone upon being served said it needed salt and proceeded to salt their own dishes. My boyfriend stood by his decision and doubled down on his argument that you can't remove salt, but you can add it and that he preferred how it tasted as is. I was fuming because he has done this in the past and says I occasionally over-season/over-salt food. however, it does not happen regularly enough to be an issue. (occasionally accidental) I do 90% of the cooking at home and he loves my food.
    via u/unemployedbuffoon123
  • 06
    we argued about it and he stood his ground that he prefers his food less salty and that if I salted it that he would have been SOL and not been able to eat any of it, however the amount of salt it required was not enough to be overly salted and that I know for a fact the amount of salt I would have used he would have happily eaten it. I told him his behavior felt controlling and he hit me with I could've grabbed more salt myself but again this dish if I stepped away would have burned quickly. AI
    via u/unemployedbuffoon123
  • 07
    tinyd71 • 8h Certified Proctologist [24] Of course your boyfriend should be able to control the amount of salt (or other ingredients) in a dish...when he's cooking. and His actions do sound controlling (and also ungrateful). Sounds like it might be time for him to put on the chef's hat and gain some perspective (or gratitude)... NTA
    via u/tinyd71
  • 08
    committedlikethepig. 7h Enthusiast [7] Not only controlling but completely unreasonable. Everyone had to salt their food and he still dug his heels in and fought about how he was right. This is not someone you can have constructive conversations with.
    via u/committedlikethepig
  • 09
    ABelleWriter • 7h He dug in but added more soy sauce, which has a LOT of salt. He needs to take several seats and shut up about how she cooks, because she sounds pretty knowledgeable.
    via u/ABelleWriter
  • 10
    committedlikethepig. 7h Enthusiast [7] Not to mention, does he even know what makes restaurant food so good? butter and salt.
    via u/committedlikethepig
  • 11
    Nixxin_N⚫ 8h NTA. The way he's behaving is childish and controlling and honestly if you ever do cook, you should have someone else helping you and not him considering the fact anything without even just a bit of salt just tastes extremely bland. He saw his family's reaction and he more than likely felt some embarrassment deep down but didn't want to show it and instead acted out and continued to act as if he was right to not give you what you asked for.
    via u/Nixxin_N
  • 12
    unicornhair1991 · 6h NTA but OP needs to stop arguing with her BF about salt content and just say "if you dislike how i season, cook it yourself or shut up". Then STICK TO THIS The problem is THAT simple. Especially because amount of salt is a personal preference so the argument will never end
    via u/unicornhair1991
  • 13
    bloodorangejulian ⚫ 8h him He won't be able to eat it? That's some childish Tell him if he doesn't give you the salt again, he has to find another girlfriend. Seriously, he ruined your food, and ruined dinner for multiple people, because he couldn't get the food exactly how he wanted it. Please realize how selfish this is, and how willingly he did this Now think of what he will do if you say need a medication that has side effects which inconvenience him...is he going to withhold your medication
    via u/bloodorangejulian
  • 14
    lenajlch .7h It's important to add salt as you cook, not after. It's key to the success of many recipes and is done delicately "as you cook" different elements of the dish vs. dumping a ton of salt into it. Pasta: Great to add to the water its cooked in so it flavors the blandness of the pasta more, most of it will go down the drain after anyway! Meats: Helps retain moister and makes it more tender. Onions: helps draw out moisture and enhance flavor. Etc.! He needs to start doing the cooking. St
    via u/lenajlch
  • 15
    Merfairydust • 7h The answer: 'that's fine honey, I'll put a portion aside for you before I season the dish, now would you pass me the salt please so I can make everybody else's meal delicious'. Then serve him the unseasoned dish. Wish granted. Mischievous compliance is warranted.
    via u/Merfairydust
  • 16
    Individual-Theory-85 .7h I'm the cook at our house, and while I absolutely DO accept constructive feedback (I'm forever trying new recipes, I need my family to be honest), THIS scenario would have resulted in my handing over the apron and telling him to finish the dish. How DARE he?? Totally NTA. It would be a frosty day in Hades before he was allowed a bite of my food again. You want to dictate how I cook? Either DIY, or STFU. Whew! I'm so mad on your behalf!
    via u/Individual-Theory-85
  • 17
    Celeste Desdemina • 7h If he had a good reason (someone has extreme high blood pressure) and you wouldn't listen, his actions would make sense. He still would have handled things incorrectly, but atleast he'd have a real reason. As is he's an idiot and you're NTA. If you're petty enough, you could always start making his food without any seasonings. No salt, msg, pepper, spices... just blah. It would mean more work, though. Also, because I AM that petty hide the salt and anything salty before se
    via u/CelesteDesdemina
  • 18
    NTA 12_22_23 8h Certified Proctologist [27] He did not prefer it the way it was. He was just lying to try to save face. Maybe next time you can cook for everyone but him and then he can cook his own meal and make it as bland as he likes.
    via u/12_22_23

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